Monday March 18, 2024

No one can validate us like God can

Good News Reflections:
Making scripture meaningful to your daily life
by Terry Modica

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“In God there is no shame; He has erased our guilt with Christ’s blood on the cross.”


Good News Reflection for:

Monday of the 5th Week of Lent
Memorial of Saint Cyril of Jerusalem, bishop and doctor of the Church
March 18, 2024

Today’s Prayer:

Jesus, I need to be aware of Your mercy so I can live in Your freedom. Give me the grace of being as merciful with my neighbors as You are with me. Amen.

SaintsSubscribe to Today’s Saint Quote & Prayer:
gnm.org/SaintQuotes/

Today’s Readings:

Daniel 13:1-9, 15-17, 19-30, 33-62
Ps 23:1-3, 3-4, 5, 6
John 8:1-11
bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/031824.cfm
USCCB Podcast of the Readings:
bible.usccb.org/podcasts/audio/daily-mass-reading-podcast-march-18-2024

Shame or guilt or mercy

[ Listen to the podcast of this reflection ]

Have you ever been accused unmercifully, like Susanna in today’s first reading? Whether the accusation is true or false, we feel terribly invalidated, especially if it comes without forgiveness. Even when we’ve done nothing wrong, we need an attitude of mercy from our accuser or else the wound goes very deep.

Feeling remorseful for a genuine sin doesn’t make it easier to endure the harsh reactions of others. Since we naturally prefer to look good in the eyes of others, especially when they treat us unmercifully, we defend ourselves and try to rationalize away our sins.

This happens because we’re trying to protect ourselves from shame. Guilt is the honest awareness that we have sinned, which leads to remorse, which leads to healing. Shame is different. Unlike guilt, which tells us how we sinned and so that we can repent, and unlike regret, which motivates us to make amends for our sin and to avoid it in the future, belittles us.

Only mercy can protect us from shame. Mercy validates our worth. Without it, we try to protect ourselves from shame by manipulating people into liking us and approving of us and affirming us. The more we sin, the more desperate we become for other people’s approval. And the more desperate we become, the less remorse we feel for what we’ve done wrong, because remorse includes the feeling that we deserve disapproval.

To heal the wounds of shame, we must realize that our desire to repent and receive forgiveness has opened us to the mercy of God and that his opinion of us is what matters most.

When we’re accused falsely, we’re at the mercy of others and they have rejected us. If their opinions matter to us, we hunger for affirmation. We defend ourselves and offend those who accused us. We convert our innocence into selfishness and pride and other unloving behavior.

To heal this wound we must know that we are embraced by the mercy of God.

No one can validate us like God can. He alone knows what’s in our hearts. He alone loves us completely, no matter what we do. In him there is no shame — regret, yes, but not shame, because he has erased our guilt with Christ’s blood on the cross. When we grasp the fidelity of God’s mercy, we are freed from the self-protective need to be validated by people.

Shame is harmful but guilt and regret are redemptive. Guilt motivates us to repent. Repentance purifies us, and regret builds our holiness. Holiness extends God’s mercy to those around us. In holiness, we invite others to recognize their own guilt without shaming them into it. As we have received mercy, we give mercy, and so the world becomes a better place.

For more on this topic, see our video called: “Heal from the Pain of Being Scourged” @ https://gnm-media.org/turn-crosses-resurrections-part-4/.

© 2024 by Terry A. Modica


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