How to Find God in Times of Waiting
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Why It’s Difficult to Surrender to God
“Total surrender consists of giving ourselves completely to God. We must give ourselves fully to God because God has given Himself to us.” (Saint Teresa of Calcutta)
It is difficult to surrender to God like Saint Teresa tells us. This is a goal worth striving for us to increase our holiness. It has never been promised that we would not find it difficult to surrender to God, but again, it is worth the struggles we go through.
I work in an financial institute. I had to take an exam. I spent money and time went to classes. My boss spared his time and taught me, and finally I passed the certificate exam. I had booked the provincial exam before passing the certificate exam — it’s just a miracle that I passed the certificate exam one day before the provincial exam. So I went with full confidence (to the provincial exam) and trusted in the Lord and whispered a pray to Mother Mary, too; I took her Miraculous Medal and did not book any more provincial exams, as I was confident I would pass with one attempt. However, I failed and it was a great blow for me. I could not attempt to take another exam, since no slot was available, even though I called different centres. I am ashamed. My boss had full confidence in me that I would pass. I was supposed to set an example, I am suppose to be a leader in this office. Now, I have to give several tests (4 certificate exams and 4 provincial exams). I was born in 1960; I study but do not retain well. What should I do???
It’s probably too soon to know why you didn’t pass the exam yet. But God is working a plan, that’s for sure. Perhaps a story from my own life might help. My husband, Ralph, was laid off from his job last September. It was a job that we thought the Lord had led him to after being laid off from a previous company two years prior. He has 40 years in the computer field, so he spent a lot of money and many, many hours of studying for an exam that would give him certification that can help him find new work. He is very smart and has a good memory, and he asked the Holy Spirit to help him take the test. He should have passed, but he didn’t.
Now he’s studying for a very different line of work, one which is turning out to be more enjoyable and a lot less stressful. At the time he failed the exam, he felt devastated. But now he’s far enough into his new area of studies that I am convinced that the Lord protected him from going back into the stressful computer field by “helping” him fail the exam.
My advice to you is to just keep moving forward in whatever opportunities open up to you, and don’t worry about the “why?” of the failure or what it might mean to your job and the example you set. God wants you to set an example of trust – trusting HIM and his plans for you. Be an example of faith. God will take care of the rest. As his plans for you unfold, either the exam will become available to you again and you will pass it, or he will take you in a different direction. Be at peace, trust, and don’t worry.